Respect. It’s a topic not widely covered in the Gorean lifestyle, although I know there have been (or will be) a few forum topics going up about the matter recently.
The topic came about as I was re-reading ‘Renegades of Gor’, there is a discussion between Tarl Cabot and a free woman about respect, and how she must be respected because she is a free woman. She is told that yes, she should be respected as she is a free women, but if in her heart she is a slave (and slaves in general, should she become enslaved) are not respected.
So this got me thinking, was this just a fantasy aspect of the books or has it the ability to be a part of real life, 20th century Earthen Gor?
To me, at first, although I didn’t know the answer – it seemed a simple enough question. There were, at least in my mind, only three possible answers. They were:
- It is fantasy, slaves are respected.
- It is reality, slaves aren’t respected.
- It is a little of both – which of course is the only answer that would need a more detailed clarification.
See, the books have a very clearly set out definition on the matter of respect. Free people are respected. Slaves, as they are animals, are not. Slaves can be loved, fought for, won and even play great parts in epic wars, skirmishes and brawls, but they cannot be respected.
This, of course, is not purely fictitious, it is based on our own heritage and history. The Romans didn’t respect their slaves. The Persians didn’t respect their slaves. White people who imported Africans did not respect their slaves. The slaves were, after all, considered ‘less than human’ and ‘not worthy of respect’. Much like the idea of slaves being animals in the books.
This differs rather drastically to what we in a 20th century ‘modern’ lifestyle generally see. There are exceptions, depending on cultures and ethnicity, but on the whole, in the Western world we have the view that anyone and everyone deserves respect as long as they don’t act in a way which counteracts respect. That’s to say, respect is earned. A woman can have respect just as well as a man can – a supermarket shelf-stacker can have respect just like a head of state can. Child or adult, regardless of background, colour, social status or appearance can have respect.
So how can these two completely different outlooks combine? Can they combine, or does one overrule the other?
The problem is that everyone has different influences in their lives. How someone was brought up as a child severely impacts on who the person becomes as an adult. If someone has been brought up in a traditional Muslim family, they’re going to have very different ideas of respect than a British Christian, and both will have a different outlook than someone who has been brought up without the crutch of religion.
Day-to-day occurrences, even in adulthood, change perspectives. For Goreans, a lot of the influences come not only from the ‘vanilla’ societies, but from the BDSM societies as well. They often preach that submissives are people too, and so deserve (in fact, must have) the respect of dominants. Anyone who has attended a BDSM munch will know that regardless of ‘status’, each person is required to show respect to everyone else. In many ways, the average BDSM submissive has more respect than the average BDSM dominant.
So, what is the 20th Century Earth-Gorean’s outlook on ‘respect’? I cannot speak for the rest of the community around the world. But this is my theory.
Free people respect slaves for what they can do – they’re abilities and their skills (ie. If a gourmet chef is enslaved, Free people can still respect her ability to cook amazing food), just like they would a free person – the skills and abilities of a slave are on an ‘equal level’ respect-wise to free.
BUT
Goreans are rather fond of freedom, much as they are rather fond of their honour. For this reason, they cannot respect any free person who has given up their freedom, to them it is like someone giving up their honour. So, they cannot respect a slave for she has given up her own freedom.
Goreans, at least those I’ve spoken to, respect the skills and abilities of the slave, but not the slavery or slave themselves. This may be different for different people.
Is there a set answer to any of the questions I’ve asked? Probably not, I expect it depends on how much someone follows the books, how someone has grown up, and how that same person has experienced life as a whole. But it’s a topic that is rarely covered, and it makes me wonder why. Perhaps the reason is that anyone can debate the ‘easy’ topics, they are easy for a reason, debating the harder, more philosophical, topics requires more knowledge of the books, more knowledge of the history of Earth and more knowledge about life in general. Perhaps some are content only discussing the topics that have been discussed thousands of times before, then they can simply use others words – for me (and I’m told it’s a very Gorean outlook) I’d rather find my own way, forge my own discussions and come to my own conclusions, with my own arguments – but that’s just me.
I wish you well,
kamira.
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Thanks go to Master Asmodeus, Master Malkinius, Master OrionTheWolf and Master Satyr_Silenus for taking the time to allow me to probe their knowledge and bounce my ideas off them. They’re help was invaluable in aiding my understanding of the topic.
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