What does it mean to "Be A Gorean Man?"

(From the Point of View of a Slave)

There are thousands and thousands of men who claim to be ‘Gorean’. But these men don’t always exhibit the traits of Gorean men, as explained in the books. Especially when they are out from behind a computer screen, or have clicked the ‘x’ key on Second Life!

Being Gorean, for either gender, is about being true to one’s nature. And for men, it is about control - control of both one’s path and destination, as well as control of one’s self.

There are a couple of quotes, that really sum up the traits of a Gorean man -

"Gorean men have a way of looking at women which is like stripping them and putting them to their feet." ~Page 309 - Slave Girl of Gor*

“One could read in his eyes the absence of vacillation and confusion, the undivided nature of his character, the firmness, simplicity and unilaterality of his will. He did not belong to a world in which men, through deceit and trickery, and lies, and insidious, hypocritical conditioning programs, had been bled and weakened.” ~Page 150 - Witness of Gor*

When I first came into Gor, I thought this was a ‘fantasy’ aspect of the books, and dismissed it as such. Then I met my Master. It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t yet experienced this, but Gorean men look at women, all women - vanilla or otherwise, differently. They have this look which other men don’t have, vanilla women can see that there is something ‘different’ about the man, but don’t know what. For submissive women, it feels like they’re looking through all the outer, protective, layers that women build up - and ‘seeing’ the real woman beneath everything.

It is a look that is devoid of the weak-willed pansexual nature of men, a look that normally invokes feelings of trust.

I don’t normally like the idea of creating online versions of Gor, or its philosophies, as I believe it dilutes the meaning, and confuses people who are new to the lifestyle, thus giving them false information, and more often than not - making them look like a complete idiot.

But, there is a list which I found at the beginning of my journey into this lifestyle that jumped out at me. It was a list of ‘rules’ for Gorean men, and in the beginning I didn’t believe what I read, and dismissed it as a ‘chatroom’ onlinism. But thinking about it - the list was rather apt. Those reading will probably be saying ‘oh, but these are all really basic, obvious, things!’ - but it isn’t until someone writes them down, that new people can see what the more experienced of us mean by the term ‘naturally Gorean’. Anyway, I’m paraphrasing here, (and I’ve probably missed some out!) as I cannot find the exact list I’m referring to;

~Do not free a slave - possess her~

Self explanatory really - ‘Only a fool frees a slave’ is a well-known and commonly used Gorean quote. No Gorean man wishes to have a slave and do less than possess her wholeheartedly, the idea of ‘freeing’ a slave is laughable - after all, one wouldn’t release a well trained domesticated dog into the wild - so why give a slave her freedom, when it has taken time and effort to train her? That - and no ‘genuine’ slave would want to be freed from a ‘genuine’ Gorean man anyway!

-

~Do with a slave what you wish - this is the only thing that will fulfil her needs~

No slave wants to feel that a Master is ‘holding back’. Just like the man doesn’t wish to only have ‘part’ of a slave, a slave doesn’t wish to have ‘part’ of the man. A woman needs to feel she is pleasing and fulfilling the needs, and requirements, of her man - that is the only way she herself can be fulfilled.

-

~Always ensure a slave knows she is kept under discipline - If not, she will soon find her slave-fire shrinking~

If a slave doesn’t get corrected or disciplined for her mistakes, she gets the impression the man doesn’t care enough to correct her. When she begins to think of herself as more of a ‘vanilla’ partner, her desire to serve, please, and impress her man is suppressed, stifling who she is. It is only through being strong enough to keep a slave under discipline, does a man get everything the slave has to give.

-

~Be sure to encourage a slave to better herself - to not do so is to miss out on what she has to offer~

This, to me, means both physically and mentally. Physically, is the ‘simple’ one - encouraging the women to keep in shape, to eat and dress well, and to generally improve her health, well being and appearance.

Mentally, it means encouraging and allowing her to extend her knowledge, be that through reading, studying, intellectual conversation, or a combination of all three. Gorean men enjoy intelligent slaves, and pride themselves on having intelligent beings in their possession. Trying to stifle (or just not encourage) this intelligence is un-Gorean, as it shows the insecurities of a man who doesn’t want to feel a woman has an equal or greater intelligence than him. When a slave is more intelligent than the Master, it doesn’t make the Master less dominant, or less in control - if anything, it makes him more in control. After all, anyone can own someone that doesn’t have the intelligence to form personal opinions, but it takes a strong, confident and self-assured Master to own and keep a woman with a brain.

-

~Do not ask a slave for the terms of her slavery - tell her your terms~

Too many slaves in other alternative lifestyles go into their relationships with a list of their ‘terms’, which the dominant must adhere to. Gorean men are different - they set the terms of their own mastery, and by doing that they set the rules of the slavery of the woman. A Gorean slave doesn’t want to set her own boundaries and rules. There is a reason people say the last choice a slave makes is to whom she begs a collar!

-

~Be strong with a slave. She will naturally test the bonds of her slavery~

Women will test, that is just a fact of nature! They will walk the fine line between being a good slave and being a rebellious brat, often without really knowing they’re doing it. They don’t do it on purpose, well, not always.. But they are seeing if the limits are still there. If a man chooses not to reinforce her slavery, she will soon realise this. Much like an unbroken horse will check every once in a while to see if the electric fence is still on. If it is, they stay within their boundaries for a while longer. But if they find the fence is off, they will quickly escape and disappear to pastures greener.

It is necessary to remain strong with a slave, at all times, to prevent her forgetting her position.

-

~Do not be tricked, or manipulated, into being weak with a loved slave - they expect, and require, a man to be dominant and masculine, regardless of their emotions~

Women are manipulative by nature. A submissive woman needs a man who is able to keep them in perfect discipline, despite being in love. If a man is tricked into being weak, not only do the dynamics of the relationship change, but the respect for the man is rapidly decreased.

I know that if I can manipulate someone, I loose all respect for them, as they clearly are not in full control of themselves.

-

~Buy a whip~

Gorean men do not punish with nipple clamps and nettle leaves - the whip is their tool of choice. All men in the books, have a whip close by should a slave get out of hand. Sure, a good clip around the ear is a good form of correction but a whip has better effect!

However, I think this rule is only half-completed, personally, I believe it should be ‘Buy a whip, and learn how to use it!’ - after all, it’s all well and good having a state-of-the-art oven.. But if you don’t know how to cook with it, it’s not going to be much use!

Do these rules give a definite definition of a Gorean man? No, probably not - but they’re a good guideline, in my opinion. If a man is lazy, and does not enforce his rules, how can a woman respect him? I’ve seen many a relationship fail, in my short years in this lifestyle, for that exact reason - laziness, and weakness.

Collaring is only the beginning, the proof is in the days, weeks, and months that follow. Any man can keep a pet for a day, but it is only a true ‘owner’ that can keep a pet for the weeks and months that follow after the initial ‘honeymoon period’ has dissipated.

So, what does it mean to ‘be’ a Gorean man? In my mind, at least, it is a simple answer - a Gorean man is a man who is true to himself and his nature. A man who has natural dominance, not pretend dominance. A man who has an unyielding attitude on the ‘important’ things, and has the ability to enforce, and back-up, anything he may say or do in life.

~I wish you well~

~kamira, slave of Asmodeus~

*As with all my posts - the page and book reference refers to the newest version of the Gorean Saga books - E-Reads, paperback edition.

Free Women - The Robes, The Arrogance and The Suspected Truth

Firstly, what is a Free Woman?

 

A Free Woman is a paradox, according to the books, a conundrum that can only be solved with a collar. They are both respected, and despised by men and slaves.

 

But what are they really? Well, let’s look at the facts. A free woman is -

• A woman, without a collar
• A woman who dislikes her sex
• A woman who has a dislike, disdain, or arrogance towards men

 

So.. in basics, a ‘Free Woman’ is a cross between a feminist, and an arrogant ‘normal’ woman! What’s so special about that!? I mean, any woman I see in the supermarket, by this definition, can be classed as a ‘Free Woman’ - does it make them Gorean? No.

 

People say that what separates, and defines, a Free Woman, from the general population of ‘women’ is her ‘honour’. But, sadly, I’ve known ‘Free Women’, people that men consider ‘real and genuine’ Free Women - who are anything but honourable! So I find the idea to be illusive and rather pathetic.

 

There are also a lot of statements in the books about Gorean Free Women hating slaves, for they are free, but unable to understand the true delights of life, and of femininity, that only slavery can give. This, I believe, is closer to the truth - as all the women I’ve ever had the misfortune to be acquainted with are spiteful, rude, and down right nasty towards slaves, attempting to ruin their name, and reputation with lies and trickery.

 

Behind the Robes of Concealment are insecure (normally older) women. They attack and condemn slaves, for being what they can not - true to themselves. They prefer to hide behind thick ‘robes’ (arrogant and self-righteous attitudes), and pretend to be equal to men, ignoring the fact that they could, should a man wish it, be quickly reminded this is not the case.

The Robes are seen as a ‘protection’ from the big, bad, men - which is why a lot of hurt ‘slaves’ coming out of bad relationships turn to the proud arrogance of a Free Woman. But, unfortunately, this is only a figment of their imagination, it might be a position ‘higher’ than a slave, but that does not mean the women within can be protected from pain or harm.

By referring to themselves as ‘Free Women’, the women (normally BDSM dommes) unwittingly count themselves out of Gor all together. After all, Gor is a male-led lifestyle, so what is the point of wanting to be a dominant woman, in a lifestyle that clearly condemns such things?

By insisting on being included in the lifestyle, in a position that isn’t in tune to their natural state (women being naturally subservient to men throughout history), they deny themselves the joy and fulfilment that comes from being a slave to the best of one’s abilities.

What opportunity does a Free Woman have to feel the joy of slavery, the joy of serving men, and the pleasure of knowing men approve of her actions? None. If any, she hides in the deepest depths of her thoughts lest her desires be discovered. There is no fulfilment in hiding feelings, natural born instincts.

This is the reason for the cattiness and bitterness of Free Women towards slaves - they are jealous. It is sadly, a consequence of the politically correct world we live in, where woman are forced to fight to be equal to men.

Are they Gorean? I don’t believe so - being Gorean is being true to one’s instincts and nature. What is ‘natural’ about a woman being dominant?

~I wish you well~

~kamira, slave of Asmodeus~

Gor - The Truth Behind the Fiction

Gor, and in turn those who follow the Gorean philosophies, have been slated ever since the beginning of alternative lifestyles. My Master recalls being in a room with mainstream BDSMers and, after being asked, stated he was Gorean. The ‘BDSMers’ then proceeded to either ignore him, or spit at him, calling him (amongst other names) a ‘Nazi’ and a ‘fantasist’.
Okay, so BDSM and those who are a part of it have become more open about other forms of alternative lifestyle since then. But Goreans in general are still shunned.

Why?

I see there are three main reasons for this; The books, the roleplayers and fantasists on second life and in chatrooms, and the idea of ‘no limits’. Most people don’t understand Gor, or Goreans, they see it as ‘just another form of BDSM play’, and an unsafe form at that!

But, this is my idea of the truth - I have not been ‘brainwashed’ into saying this, I’ve not been ordered to write this, I’m writing what I feel is the truth, based on my experiences and my knowledge.
The books - They are fantasy and science fiction, poorly written fantasy and science fiction at that! And for most people outside of the Gorean lifestyle, that is all there is to it.
But the Gorean lifestyle, and the philosophies contained within the books on which the lifestyle is based, are far more than the ramblings of a penniless university professor. They are based on something that goes beyond all that - historical facts. They are based on a combination of ancient civilisations and their values, protocols, and beliefs. Roman, Greek, Moor, Inuit - just to name a few!
Take, for example, the first chapter of the first book.
The fiction - Tarl Cabot, of Bristol, moves to America to teach as a professor of English History, he goes off camping, finds a letter, and eventually boards a ship and flies to the new (to him) planet, Gor, to meet his father - Matthew Cabot.
The historical truth - In 1497, John Cabot sailed from Bristol, to explore across the Atlantic (finally landing in ‘the new world’ - America), his ship was called ‘The Matthew’.

The overlooked fact of the matter is that the novels, regardless of genre, are based (perhaps loosely at times!) on a menagerie of historical events, ideals, and civilisations. Yet those who are so quick to scorn and judge, are those who are ignorant (stupid?) enough to believe that just because a book is in the ‘science fiction’ section of the library, it cannot possibly have any truths.

Of course, people refuse to listen when one explains the historical references, and prefers to repeat ‘You’re so brainwashed. You’re so predictable’ over and over like a parrot on speed.

~

Then of course, there is the ‘roleplayers’ and ‘fantasists’, which do not tend to help with the whole ‘insane’ idea! These are the people that believe that dressing up as a warrior, or assassin, on second life (or spending two hours describing their clothes, and their entrance in a chatroom) makes them ‘real life Goreans’.
This, to me, is the same as turning up to a Gorean meeting in spacesuits with ray guns (it’s happened before!) - how can anyone take that as ‘serious’?!

These are the people that most other ‘alternative’ lifestylers see first, they are the first ‘encounter’, so to speak, and people judge the entire lifestyle from those slightly confused individuals. I don’t blame them for hating Goreans, and seeing us all as fantasists. If my only encounter of Star Trek fans was those who dressed up and spoke ‘Klingon’, I’d think they were all nutjobs too! But, as I try to remind people involved in BDSM - you don’t judge puppy-players on bestiality.. why judge us on our ‘extremes’?

Again, people refuse to listen to this, or just nod along pretending to agree, in the hopes that the idea of being Gorean will suddenly dissipate.

~

Then there is the idea of ‘no limits’ and ‘no safeword’ slaves - this, of course, is both unsafe and ridiculous to BDSMers. I was asked at one point “so, you’re a no limits slave.. so you’d kill your family if your Owner told you to?”. This, apparently, disproved the fact that I am ‘no limits’.

What people fail to realise, is that a Gorean slave does have limits, but those are set by her Master, she does whatever he asks, knowing he’s not a psychopath that is going to ask her to kill her entire family! By having only the limits of the Master, it makes the slave ‘no limits’ - If single, I would have a hard limit of ‘whips’ (they scare me.. but that’s another story, for another time), and yet my Master uses his whip - thus negating my ‘hard limit’. He could, of course, do this with any other limit of mine, and since I’m his slave, I would go along with his wishes (albeit reluctantly at times!).

No safewords is again a topic that is debated by those in other forms of alternative lifestyle - “but if you play, how does he know when you’ve had enough?”. For a start, Goreans don’t ‘play’ at being Gorean.. so the idea of a safeword for ‘Gorean Play’ is a bit redundant.. I mean, what am I going to do… start yelling ‘red, red, red!!’ when he asks me to get him a cup of coffee?!

The idea of safewords, in the BDSM side of life, in my opinion, is to do exactly what it says on the box - keep things ‘safe’. But just like the idea of ‘limits’, it isn’t a ‘necessary’ part of the Gorean lifestyle. We don’t (in the Gorean lifestyles purest form) take part in BDSM activities - a lot of BDSMers get the impression that Gor is ‘boring’, as there is no ‘play’, ‘scening’ or ‘extremes’ - in a lot of ways, the Gorean lifestyle is akin to the 1950’s household.. and my mother never needed safewords for making dinner, doing the cleaning, and generally keeping the house.. so neither do I!

Gor, in itself, is about living with honour and personal integrity - neither of which need ‘safewords’, as neither of which are ‘unsafe’. The only time people in alternative lifestyles see the need for Goreans to have safewords, is when the Master whips a slave. This is done not for enjoyment, but for correction purposes - so the slave isn’t ‘meant’ to enjoy it. There is no ‘warm up’, just hard strokes of the whip from the start. Of course, there needs to be some level of control from the Master - and the age old ‘don’t hit the kidneys’ rule still stands.. but the idea of giving a safeword to a slave, so she can stop the punishment when she wishes, or when she’s ‘had enough’ isn’t really in keeping with the idea that the Master is in charge - after all, if I could, I’d try to get away with no punishment whatsoever.. but that wouldn’t help in correcting me.

I know that those who dapple in BDSM as well as Gor, often have safewords for when they play, but that is a different matter - and as it doesn’t pertain to me, I won’t go into it here.

~

So, sadly for those out there who try to label the Gorean lifestyle a ‘fad’, a ‘phase you’re going through’, and something we’ll ‘grow out of’ - I don’t believe it is anything of the sort. It is, at the very least, to me, a very complex lifestyle, that doesn’t even being to scratch the surface with ‘Master and slave’. It’s about life choices, it’s about a willingness to be true to ones nature, it’s about striving to be honourable, to live within ones own strengths and weaknesses, and not to pretend to be something, just to fit in with the politically correct society we all live in.

And for that reason, I pity those who hate and dismiss my lifestyle choice - not because they aren’t a part of it, but because they are too closed-minded to even discover what it’s really about.

"You may judge and scorn Goreans as you wish. Know as well however that they judge and scorn you. They fulfil themselves as you do not. Hate them for their pride and power, they will pity you for your shame and weakness." - 11, Beasts

~I wish you well~

~kamira, slave of Asmodeus~