Who Teaches a Slave?

This topic came up a few weeks ago, and I decided to put my jumbled thoughts into some kind of legible-ish train!

With the geese retreating from our tent with disinterested ‘honks’ after I was told not to feed them anymore... (“Those rolls are for my BURGERS, not for you to encourage all these CHRISTMAS DINNERS into the tent!”) it’s only now that I’ve really had the time to put pen to paper (literally... this is just being typed up for my blog...!)

Training is an interesting topic – one that doesn’t come up as often as I’d expect it to. I mean, it comes up, but only when looking at the detail and rarely when it’s taken as a whole. Who DOES the training?

The books are clear that pretty much anyone can train... even barbarians (after they’ve been trained themselves!). Youth can correct, men can correct, women can correct, peasants can correct, Ubars can correct. Anyone. But in ‘reality’ it can be much harder. So many only know onlinisms, or focus on the purely sexual aspects. Some will teach you ‘tricks’ and ‘cheats’ to looking great without actually doing anything and some will talk so much you’ll end up more confused than when you asked the question! It’s all about making an informed choice and judgement.

In fact, I guess it comes down to a few things;

The slave – if she is willing to learn from the FW - and not just in the ‘I’ve been ordered to’ kind of way... things are SLIGHTLY more complicated than that in the real world!

The owner of said slave – if he/she is willing to allow his slave to learn from such a source. He must, obviously have respect for the FW in question both as a normal human being and as a source of knowledge.

The FW – for why would one teach if one does not a) enjoy it, b) know about it and c) like the person she’s teaching! And, of course, if she is willing to put her name on the line to impart knowledge as well as having the time and energy to do it properly (and not in a half-hearted “we’ll talk twice a year on Skype” kind of way!).

The free companion – even though many women wish to deny it, it is ALWAYS up to the male of the household (if there is one) to have the final say.

So I looked at my own situation.

My FC, as I understand it, has no issue with me imparting knowledge to anyone – he never has. His issue is more that he knows me and my anti-social preferences and is happy to give both the pro’s and con’s of any situation that I may not have thought through.

I don’t believe he would have an issue with me teaching a female slave – this may be because he appears to be under the delusion that I am knowledgeable of Gorean protocols and such. That, as he is a man, is his own business – however wrong I may think he is.

It’s not something I would have wanted in her position. I was, and I suppose in many ways still am, very anti-female. And even more anti-gorean-woman... (But then, who could blame me given those ‘special’ individuals I have encountered under that title!) I don’t like women in most cases (although, in all fairness, I have very little time for people in general – regardless of gender) and my personal bias towards free women while in collar would have provided a very fractious learning environment.

I’m willing to share my knowledge – but I would struggle (as always) with the word ‘mentor’ or even ‘Gorean teacher/trainer.’

So yes, I suppose it is possible, dependent on the slave and owner (if she has one) – but it’s less about the gender of the teacher and more about whether the teacher shares the views and values of their ‘class’ ;)

Thoughtfully yours...

I wish you well,

Kami.

Interpretation... How far can it go?

Interpretation.. How far can it go?

Everybody says “Oh, well.. that’s YOUR interpretation of the books..” and “I’ve interpreted that differently.”

That’s fine. I agree with allowing people to interpret how they perceive things.

But only up to a point, of course.

Interpretation can only go so far, until that ‘interpretation’ is just plain wrong. ‘Interpreting’ a quote and taking a quote out of context are completely different things. Changing the meaning of words to suit ones own agenda is NOT ‘interpretation’.

There is a Gorean quote about a weak man, taken out of context it could be used to defend the idea that ‘slaves’ are more in control than their owners.. It doesn’t make it any more true, but it is very easy to defend any ideal or agenda with misquoted quotes.

Interpretation doesn’t mean you’re able to make things up, or use that word as a ‘guise’ under which you can hide. Interpretation can only go as far as the words allow.

Let me explain.

> “The flower in the grass was white”

It can be interpreted in thousands of different ways.

The grass – How long is it? Is it fresh, green, dying, yellow? Patchy? Covered in shadow?

Some might picture a garden, with uniform blades. Another might picture a forest floor. Others will picture different things. This is one of the ‘interpretable’ parts of the sentence.

The flower – is it a rose? A daisy? A weed? How many petals does it have? Are they sharp, or tatty? Is it newly bloomed or dying?

Again, many people will see it differently.. another ‘interpretable’ part of the statement.

The WORDS themselves, however, cannot change their meaning. Anyone can interpret that sentence ‘correctly’ as long as they retain the meaning of the words.

It would be wrong, obviously, to think that the ‘flower’ was able to be interpreted as a ‘tree’ or a ‘bush’ – it states a flower, so only ‘flowers’ can be interpreted from that word.

The word ‘white’ indicates that anyone ‘interpreting’ that flower as anything other than ‘white’ – is wrong. Plain and simple. The flower cannot be blue, red, purple, or any other colour other than ‘white’. Because the word ‘white’ can hae no other meaning than ‘white’!

So while there ARE areas where people can vary in their interpretation (I think “white daisy on a grassy, wild hill”, someone else might think “white tulip in a garden”) – there are ways that it can be interpreted wrongly. Anyone trying to interpret that sentence as “yellow buttercup on a window ledge” regardless of anything else, is wrong! Because the meaning of the words cannot substantiate their interpretation.

To bring it back to a Gorean perspective... “Slave” means “owned or controlled by someone else” this is not an ‘interchangable’ or interpretable’ meaning. (So ‘slave’ cannot have the meaning ‘not owned or controlled... but I have this FEELING that I’m a slave.. in my HEART.... so I must be one’) Much like ‘slave vs. Free’ and ‘flower vs. Tree’ – the words have definitive meanings – which cannot be changed, especially not because someone who doesn’t fit the mould tries to put the square peg in the round hole by wearing down the edges.

So anyone telling me that they have ‘interpreted’ white as black, or flowers as trees, or ‘slave’ as ‘free’... or anything else that doesn’t work with the meaning of the individual words – I won’t be apologising when I ‘interpret’ their words and excuses as stupidity in its highest form. 

Everybody says “Oh, well.. that’s YOUR interpretation of the books..” and “I’ve interpreted that differently.”

That’s fine. I agree with allowing people to interpret how they perceive things.

But only up to a point, of course.

Interpretation can only go so far, until that ‘interpretation’ is just plain wrong. ‘Interpreting’ a quote and taking a quote out of context are completely different things. Changing the meaning of words to suit ones own agenda is NOT ‘interpretation’.

There is a Gorean quote about a weak man, taken out of context it could be used to defend the idea that ‘slaves’ are more in control than their owners.. It doesn’t make it any more true, but it is very easy to defend any ideal or agenda with misquoted quotes.

Interpretation doesn’t mean you’re able to make things up, or use that word as a ‘guise’ under which you can hide. Interpretation can only go as far as the words allow.

Let me explain.

> “The flower in the grass was white”

It can be interpreted in thousands of different ways.

The grass – How long is it? Is it fresh, green, dying, yellow? Patchy? Covered in shadow?

Some might picture a garden, with uniform blades. Another might picture a forest floor. Others will picture different things. This is one of the ‘interpretable’ parts of the sentence.

The flower – is it a rose? A daisy? A weed? How many petals does it have? Are they sharp, or tatty? Is it newly bloomed or dying?

Again, many people will see it differently.. another ‘interpretable’ part of the statement.

The WORDS themselves, however, cannot change their meaning. Anyone can interpret that sentence ‘correctly’ as long as they retain the meaning of the words.

It would be wrong, obviously, to think that the ‘flower’ was able to be interpreted as a ‘tree’ or a ‘bush’ – it states a flower, so only ‘flowers’ can be interpreted from that word.

The word ‘white’ indicates that anyone ‘interpreting’ that flower as anything other than ‘white’ – is wrong. Plain and simple. The flower cannot be blue, red, purple, or any other colour other than ‘white’. Because the word ‘white’ can hae no other meaning than ‘white’!

So while there ARE areas where people can vary in their interpretation (I think “white daisy on a grassy, wild hill”, someone else might think “white tulip in a garden”) – there are ways that it can be interpreted wrongly. Anyone trying to interpret that sentence as “yellow buttercup on a window ledge” regardless of anything else, is wrong! Because the meaning of the words cannot substantiate their interpretation.

To bring it back to a Gorean perspective... “Slave” means “owned or controlled by someone else” this is not an ‘interchangable’ or interpretable’ meaning. (So ‘slave’ cannot have the meaning ‘not owned or controlled... but I have this FEELING that I’m a slave.. in my HEART.... so I must be one’) Much like ‘slave vs. Free’ and ‘flower vs. Tree’ – the words have definitive meanings – which cannot be changed, especially not because someone who doesn’t fit the mould tries to put the square peg in the round hole by wearing down the edges.

So anyone telling me that they have ‘interpreted’ white as black, or flowers as trees, or ‘slave’ as ‘free’... or anything else that doesn’t work with the meaning of the individual words – I won’t be apologising when I ‘interpret’ their words and excuses as stupidity in its highest form. 

Expectations at Gatherings...

It’s interesting to watch people at gatherings and encampments, even more so when you’ve watched them online – their words, their actions, their convictions. It reminds me that you really cannot judge people on what they say online – to an extent.

Some people, it is clear they are not suitable for friendship, there are obvious signs – like never agreeing on anything. Then there are those that you feel you won’t get along with... But you couldn’t quite say why. And finally there are those that you feel will be beneficial friends, both on an intellectual and base level.

How wrong some people can be.

People can say all the right things online... then when you meet them it is like looking at a cat instead of a dog. You have to blink a few times, and wonder what happened in that car journey, that train journey.

What I struggle with, is the amount of people that find Gorean events so difficult. The ones that are perfect online.. but act like untrained pigeons when they are face to face. I often joke that my rats are more Gorean than some people online.. what is scary is sometimes they are more Gorean than people that actually MEET! My idea, and my expectations, of people at gatherings are not at Olympic levels, they are basic levels of protocol, of Gorean etiquette.

So, in an effort to understand where people are struggling... here are my thoughts on what people should, and shouldn’t, be doing at a Gorean event. I hope by doing so I will find where people cannot do them.

Free Men
Do:

• Have some form of PERSONAL knowledge of the books – and not try to pretend otherwise.
• Dress as you please – but please remember Gorean is a way of life, not a kinky way to dress... and you WILL be judged if you stride in starkers, or in a loin cloth...
• Be masculine, but not arrogant or rude
• Speak, and intellectually (This doesn’t mean every conversation needs to be  about Superstring theory)
• Show manners to other Free
• Keep your slave/s in line
• Speak their mind, and are able to correct etiquette in others (this doesn’t mean telling everyone what they should and shouldn’t be doing – but, for example, if anothers slave is being bratty it is not ‘forbidden’ to glare or make a comment about it)
• Bear in mind others, and their emotions – like you would with any other social situation

Don’t:

• Pretend to know everything
• Touch others slave/s without speaking to the owner
• Insist on doing things for slaves
• Sit around like teddy bears
• Stare at slaves as if they are unicorns... it not only worries the slaves, but also confuses the men as to why there is so much ‘shock’ about a slave girl...

Free Women

Do:

• Have some form of PERSONAL knowledge of the books – and not try to pretend otherwise.
• Dress as you please – but please remember Gorean is a way of life, not a kinky way to dress... and free women were still feminine.. If you turn up dressed as a slave – be prepared for people to judge you.
• Serve the men if there are no slaves (you are, after all, still female)
• Keep yourself feminine
• Listen to the men – and if they tell you that you need to be quiet, do so. Even in the books the haughtiest of FW were silenced by FM when a man chose to.
• Bear in mind others, and their emotions – like you would with any other social situation
• Sit on the floor, or on the arm of your FC’s chair, if there are no free seats after the men have sat down.

Don’t:

• Pretend to know everything
• Interrupt the conversations of men (speak, sure – just don’t think your words are more important than those of a FM)
• Touch anothers slave without speaking to the owner
• Cause drama
• Act like a man, demand to be treated as a man, or anything else like that.

Slaves

Do:

• Have some form of PERSONAL knowledge of the books – and not try to pretend otherwise.
• Serve the free in the correct manner
• Speak as a female
• Help the other slaves
• Kneel, or sit in a feminine and ‘proper’ manner
• Obey free, unless it goes against your own masters words – then POLITELY state why you cannot do what you have been asked.
• Use Master and Mistress appropriately
• Remember you are a reflection of your owner – and foul-mouthed, lazy slaves reflects more on your owner than it does on you.

Don’t:

• Pretend to know everything
• Interupt the free - unless it is an emergency (obviously)
• Stomp like a bricklayer
• Deliberately draw attention to yourself
• Be a brat
• Argue, shout, or generally make a nuisance of yourself
• Lounge on the floor, block pathways, etc.

I cannot see how ANY of this is hard... I don’t think it’s asking much for anyone, new or experienced or old or young, to comply with the basics... Yet so many fail do a single one of these things (often doing the complete opposite) and then they wonder why nobody bar the tea-party Goreans have time for them.

People say the right things, they make the right noises... But in reality I wonder how many have ever been in a vanilla social situation, let alone a Gorean one. Tact and manners are something most people learnt early on (ie. If a waitress/slave hands you a drink – it’s not going to kill you to say ‘thank you’, or if there is a known rape victim in the room, it’s not the most polite thing to do to mention rapists are ‘misunderstood’).

I don't get it... so perhaps someone could enlighten me as to why so many struggle? I'd be grateful for the explanation!

I wish you well,

Kamira.