On Being a Slave, a Wife or a Free Companion

As many know, I’ve been many things during my time with @AsmodeusGM – notably a slave, a free companion and a wife.

The similarities are astounding. People assume that free women, and thus free companions are much like the ‘female dominants’ of BDSM. This is so far from the truth it is a clear indication on who has failed to grasp the concept JN was CLEARLY trying to put across.

Free women have the right to say and act how they wish – they may be petulant and obnoxious if they wish. HOWEVER it is always the man that has the final say. Whether that is in the conversation (there are many examples of “Be quiet, Woman.” styled comments when a man gets fed up with hearing a Free Womans voice), or in the longer term the collaring of a particular woman who has scorned a man. Like slaves, the Free Woman is ultimately accountable for her actions, she is expected to be feminine and generally ‘unmanly.’ She sits differently than the men (she kneels, compared to the cross legged position of a man), and her behaviour is a reflection on the men of her blood and home.

Of course, marriage can be completely different to both a slave-life or that of a free companionship – it depends on the people. However, personally, the vows I repeated in front of friends and family were to ‘love, honour and obey.’ This, in my situation, puts me more on par with a slave before a collar is placed. A traditional English wife has far more in common with JN’s idea of a ‘kajira’ than the Free Woman – the history and reason behind this is clear.

Master Asmodeus decided my vows, he planned the event, and he chose my outfit. In this it was clear to ME what the dynamic was to be, and what my place was – but to my vanilla family and friends it was nothing more than a ‘normal-albeit-slightly-more-traditional’ wedding.

Returning to England, I held the keys to my bracelet and collar – not because I could take them on and off as I pleased, but because it would potentially reduce the confusion while going through metal detectors.

Ironically, despite this precaution, there was no issue or question to my ‘unusual jewelery’ – even in American security (takes away the excuse, doesn’t it!?).

~

Freedom is an interesting concept, one that I’ve preferred not to touch on greatly. Possibly because, having experienced all three dynamics, I find more freedom in slavery - which in itself is a paradox, obviously, and one that I haven’t spent a great deal of time mulling over. The simple fact is, I am more comfortable in a collar and it is something I am just happy to accept, even if that comes with the playful ‘told you so’ teasing of my Master.

I wish you well,

Kamira