(From the Point of View of a Slave)
There are thousands and thousands of men who claim to be ‘Gorean’. But these men don’t always exhibit the traits of Gorean men, as explained in the books. Especially when they are out from behind a computer screen, or have clicked the ‘x’ key on Second Life!
Being Gorean, for either gender, is about being true to one’s nature. And for men, it is about control - control of both one’s path and destination, as well as control of one’s self.
There are a couple of quotes, that really sum up the traits of a Gorean man -
"Gorean men have a way of looking at women which is like stripping them and putting them to their feet." ~Page 309 - Slave Girl of Gor*
“One could read in his eyes the absence of vacillation and confusion, the undivided nature of his character, the firmness, simplicity and unilaterality of his will. He did not belong to a world in which men, through deceit and trickery, and lies, and insidious, hypocritical conditioning programs, had been bled and weakened.” ~Page 150 - Witness of Gor*
When I first came into Gor, I thought this was a ‘fantasy’ aspect of the books, and dismissed it as such. Then I met my Master. It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t yet experienced this, but Gorean men look at women, all women - vanilla or otherwise, differently. They have this look which other men don’t have, vanilla women can see that there is something ‘different’ about the man, but don’t know what. For submissive women, it feels like they’re looking through all the outer, protective, layers that women build up - and ‘seeing’ the real woman beneath everything.
It is a look that is devoid of the weak-willed pansexual nature of men, a look that normally invokes feelings of trust.
I don’t normally like the idea of creating online versions of Gor, or its philosophies, as I believe it dilutes the meaning, and confuses people who are new to the lifestyle, thus giving them false information, and more often than not - making them look like a complete idiot.
But, there is a list which I found at the beginning of my journey into this lifestyle that jumped out at me. It was a list of ‘rules’ for Gorean men, and in the beginning I didn’t believe what I read, and dismissed it as a ‘chatroom’ onlinism. But thinking about it - the list was rather apt. Those reading will probably be saying ‘oh, but these are all really basic, obvious, things!’ - but it isn’t until someone writes them down, that new people can see what the more experienced of us mean by the term ‘naturally Gorean’. Anyway, I’m paraphrasing here, (and I’ve probably missed some out!) as I cannot find the exact list I’m referring to;
~Do not free a slave - possess her~
Self explanatory really - ‘Only a fool frees a slave’ is a well-known and commonly used Gorean quote. No Gorean man wishes to have a slave and do less than possess her wholeheartedly, the idea of ‘freeing’ a slave is laughable - after all, one wouldn’t release a well trained domesticated dog into the wild - so why give a slave her freedom, when it has taken time and effort to train her? That - and no ‘genuine’ slave would want to be freed from a ‘genuine’ Gorean man anyway!
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~Do with a slave what you wish - this is the only thing that will fulfil her needs~
No slave wants to feel that a Master is ‘holding back’. Just like the man doesn’t wish to only have ‘part’ of a slave, a slave doesn’t wish to have ‘part’ of the man. A woman needs to feel she is pleasing and fulfilling the needs, and requirements, of her man - that is the only way she herself can be fulfilled.
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~Always ensure a slave knows she is kept under discipline - If not, she will soon find her slave-fire shrinking~
If a slave doesn’t get corrected or disciplined for her mistakes, she gets the impression the man doesn’t care enough to correct her. When she begins to think of herself as more of a ‘vanilla’ partner, her desire to serve, please, and impress her man is suppressed, stifling who she is. It is only through being strong enough to keep a slave under discipline, does a man get everything the slave has to give.
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~Be sure to encourage a slave to better herself - to not do so is to miss out on what she has to offer~
This, to me, means both physically and mentally. Physically, is the ‘simple’ one - encouraging the women to keep in shape, to eat and dress well, and to generally improve her health, well being and appearance.
Mentally, it means encouraging and allowing her to extend her knowledge, be that through reading, studying, intellectual conversation, or a combination of all three. Gorean men enjoy intelligent slaves, and pride themselves on having intelligent beings in their possession. Trying to stifle (or just not encourage) this intelligence is un-Gorean, as it shows the insecurities of a man who doesn’t want to feel a woman has an equal or greater intelligence than him. When a slave is more intelligent than the Master, it doesn’t make the Master less dominant, or less in control - if anything, it makes him more in control. After all, anyone can own someone that doesn’t have the intelligence to form personal opinions, but it takes a strong, confident and self-assured Master to own and keep a woman with a brain.
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~Do not ask a slave for the terms of her slavery - tell her your terms~
Too many slaves in other alternative lifestyles go into their relationships with a list of their ‘terms’, which the dominant must adhere to. Gorean men are different - they set the terms of their own mastery, and by doing that they set the rules of the slavery of the woman. A Gorean slave doesn’t want to set her own boundaries and rules. There is a reason people say the last choice a slave makes is to whom she begs a collar!
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~Be strong with a slave. She will naturally test the bonds of her slavery~
Women will test, that is just a fact of nature! They will walk the fine line between being a good slave and being a rebellious brat, often without really knowing they’re doing it. They don’t do it on purpose, well, not always.. But they are seeing if the limits are still there. If a man chooses not to reinforce her slavery, she will soon realise this. Much like an unbroken horse will check every once in a while to see if the electric fence is still on. If it is, they stay within their boundaries for a while longer. But if they find the fence is off, they will quickly escape and disappear to pastures greener.
It is necessary to remain strong with a slave, at all times, to prevent her forgetting her position.
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~Do not be tricked, or manipulated, into being weak with a loved slave - they expect, and require, a man to be dominant and masculine, regardless of their emotions~
Women are manipulative by nature. A submissive woman needs a man who is able to keep them in perfect discipline, despite being in love. If a man is tricked into being weak, not only do the dynamics of the relationship change, but the respect for the man is rapidly decreased.
I know that if I can manipulate someone, I loose all respect for them, as they clearly are not in full control of themselves.
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~Buy a whip~
Gorean men do not punish with nipple clamps and nettle leaves - the whip is their tool of choice. All men in the books, have a whip close by should a slave get out of hand. Sure, a good clip around the ear is a good form of correction but a whip has better effect!
However, I think this rule is only half-completed, personally, I believe it should be ‘Buy a whip, and learn how to use it!’ - after all, it’s all well and good having a state-of-the-art oven.. But if you don’t know how to cook with it, it’s not going to be much use!
Do these rules give a definite definition of a Gorean man? No, probably not - but they’re a good guideline, in my opinion. If a man is lazy, and does not enforce his rules, how can a woman respect him? I’ve seen many a relationship fail, in my short years in this lifestyle, for that exact reason - laziness, and weakness.
Collaring is only the beginning, the proof is in the days, weeks, and months that follow. Any man can keep a pet for a day, but it is only a true ‘owner’ that can keep a pet for the weeks and months that follow after the initial ‘honeymoon period’ has dissipated.
So, what does it mean to ‘be’ a Gorean man? In my mind, at least, it is a simple answer - a Gorean man is a man who is true to himself and his nature. A man who has natural dominance, not pretend dominance. A man who has an unyielding attitude on the ‘important’ things, and has the ability to enforce, and back-up, anything he may say or do in life.
~I wish you well~
~kamira, slave of Asmodeus~
*As with all my posts - the page and book reference refers to the newest version of the Gorean Saga books - E-Reads, paperback edition.